Life & Lagniappe

When Your Dreams Don’t Work Out

April 3, 2019

Are you planning to leave your job and go home?  Do you think you will be able to do all you have ever wanted?  Do you think you will have time to chase your dreams and fulfill those promises to yourself and family?

Think again…

Now I am not trying to be the voice of despair or negativity.  I am the voice of reality.  I imagine you are asking, “What make you an authority on this subject?”  Glad you asked!  I did just that in December of 2016.  I left my fulltime job to chase my dreams, those promises that I had made to myself and my family.  Needless to say, I was so excited and embraced this new adventure with all the gusto I had.  My attitude was, “If someone else has done it, so can I!”  And I still believe that, but I have tempered it with reality.  Someone else has done it, but they did it the right way.

Not me, I jumped head first into everything I wanted to do.  An opportunity came up to serve at my church as an expansion of what I was already doing.  Did I want to take it on?  Sure!  Next, an opportunity arose to mentor a Toastmasters Club. Why not? And a few months later, the offer came to serve in Toastmasters at the district level…I couldn’t say no to that, could I?  That would get me closer to a goal I had set to be a Distinguished Toastmaster.  Then with my blog finally up, the thought came to me, “Why don’t I concentrate more on my direct selling business?”  Oh, and with my crafts, (which is actually a “hobby”) I had already committed an additional year to the monthly trades days where I was set up. 

What happened next was my passion for writing and encouraging took a back seat.  I was doing anything and everything but those things and could not figure out why I could not write. I had not taken the time needed to hone my craft of writing, build a rhythm of putting my thoughts on paper and build an audience. Crazy right?  But I had so much I wanted to do.  So many things interested me and they seemed so important. 
Wasn’t serving at my church important and worthy of a gold star from God? Not necessarily.  Not if it wasn’t what God had called me to do, even if I did a good job, it amounted to wood, hay, and stubble.  Even if it helped a friend out, it was not mine to do and I was robbing someone else of their opportunity to serve.
But speaking, that is important to my overall career, right?  And I have this neat little direct selling opportunity and my crafts and…..STOP!!  Which is exactly what I had to do, stop.  But stopping did not come how you might think, it certainly was not what I thought would happen.
Without going into details, I ended up going back to work.  When that happened, everything, literally, everything stopped.  I was driving 1 hour each way to and from work.  I was working 50 hours a week at first.  So doing the math, that was an average of 12 hours a day gone from and that does not include getting ready for work or getting ready for bed each day.  I had maybe 1 hour a day if that to call my own and I chose to spend that with my husband. Talk about putting the breaks on!
So much has suffered since going back to work. My house stays a wreck, healthy eating is out, for the most part, time with my family is at a minimum and two years later I am still putting in a lot of hours. Sometimes I put them in at the house, but still, I am working.  I often wonder, what if I had done it right? What if I had put in the time necessary to get my blog, my dream, off the ground and running, really running?
Lately, I have felt the pull back. The pull to write. The pull to say what I feel God has laid on my heart. The pull to spend any and all spare time I have honing my craft and leaving everything else alone. No Toastmasters, no serving unless I know that I know that it is from God and not just something someone thought I would be a good fit for. No more Trade Days for now, but I will create with my daughter. I need that time with her and she needs it with me. My concentration will be God, family, and writing. Yes, I will continue to work for now, but hopefully can cut those hours soon. It’s not looking good, but who knows.
So if you are looking to launch your dream…please, please, please, give it all the attention it needs and deserves. Don’t let the gnats worry you, they can wait. If they are meant for you to take care of, there will be time for them later. Listen to your Father. He knows what is best.
By all means, follow your dreams. Take what God has shown you and run with it. After all, he is the Author of your dreams, the One who has instilled them in you. Don’t get distracted. As the saying goes, “Plan your work and work your plan.”  Will it take sacrifice? Yes, it will.  Will it be worth it?  You tell me!

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